Gurgling, cooing, unintelligible or invented words, funny nicknames, honeyed, affectionate and childish tonality… Who has not used this unique language at some time? We do it with small children and even with our pets. However, here comes the interesting fact: even couples talk to each other like babies sometimes.
So much so that it is estimated that 75% of adults have communicated in this way with a loved one . It is true that it can be shocking to see two adults talking to each other as if they were talking to a baby a few months old. However, in moments of intimacy, language is a channel of indisputable affection and a fertile territory for the most nourishing love.
The construction of attachment is consolidated with small daily gestures endowed with great complicity. Communication is the most basic tool for building trust, affection and intimacy. Playing with language and tone is a sign of deference to the other and also an act of emotional release .
Far from criticizing this custom or embarrassing us, it should be noted that it is an enriching practice.
Science has already shown us that using baby talk is an enriching behavior that benefits romantic relationships.
The Reasons Couples Talk Like Babies
There is something instinctive in the human being, something that we repeat generation after generation. Every adult addresses babies using high-pitched tones and simple, emotion-laden words of few syllables. The fact that this is so is not accidental.
An investigation by Dr. Patricia K. Kuhl recalls that this practice makes it easier for the child to become familiar with language and communication. It is what we know as “maternés” or speech addressed to the baby.
Now, what about adults? Why do couples talk to each other like babies sometimes? What function does this unique practice fulfill? As we can well deduce, in this case we are not looking for the other person to acquire any language. Nor do we intend it when, for example, we share good morning images and write some text like babies.
Making use of a child’s language consolidates the affective bond. It is a sign of affection, a positive emotional caress loaded with validation. In the case of adults, it strengthens the relationship, facilitates sexual desire and builds a more significant bond of intimacy and mutual trust. Moreover, for those who want to feel more united to the loved one, this practice could benefit them.
A children’s language endowed with emotional maturity
The first thing we can think of when we hear two adults speaking to each other in monosyllables or addressing each other with childish nicknames is that they are two immature people. It is very easy to derive this hasty conclusion. However, when couples talk to each other like babies, they are applying appropriate emotional maturity .
Let’s think about it. They are people who put shame aside to create a space of trust with which to nurture secure attachment. They do it by giving voice to that inner child who longs to give and receive love, tenderness and unconditional affection. It is a way of approaching the other in an intimate way, without fear or reluctance.
Playing and producing baby talk between two can be crucial to strengthening emotional bonds. Moreover , research by Dr. Meredith L. Bombar supports that the use of this type of communication is a predictor of intimacy and good complicity in the couple.
When couples talk to each other like babies and make up pet names
Who has not ever created a nickname, a name or an affectionate designation to address the loved one? Many couples do it and it is another trait that helps nurture the relationship. Moreover , we know that this practice, that of calling the other person with a childish nickname, is something that is done especially in the first months/years of a relationship.
As the years go by, this custom is often lost. It is important to note that as this practice loses its charm and is forgotten, other areas are also wearing out . Talking to each other like babies is a fun gesture that encourages complicity, sexuality and trust, why leave it?
Communication researcher Kory Floyd’s theory of affect exchange indicates something important. Building your own linguistic territory, the one that only two people who love each other know, builds a very enriching bond of secure attachment .
In intimacy, we can go beyond the role of the adult to play, laugh and be children again
It may be the case that someone feels uncomfortable with this practice. Therefore, it is always appropriate to find out first if our partner feels uncomfortable with the fact that we talk to him like a baby. However, it is always interesting to try this game, this own language, this technique with which to go beyond the classic adult role.
Sometimes, by using a childish tone with our partner, we manage to relieve their stress, we awaken smiles and moments of affection, kisses, caresses and hugs . After all, in a world so chaotic, fast and full of challenges, it is appropriate to create a small symbolic refuge with our partner. There where to evoke positive emotions through affectionate nicknames, sweet words, the childish tone…
Playing at being children again when the world of adults is so inflexible unites, relaxes and distances a little from the outside. Let’s try it, let’s put aside the shame and create our own language with the loved one.
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